You Would Have Loved This
by WingedSilhouette
Summary: Everything reminds him of her during this time of year. The presents, the ornaments, the snow, it all brings back some of the most wonderful and painful memories that he possesses. Holiday/Christmas fic. Oneshot


**Hey my amazing readers! I couldn't pass up a Chiristams fic! Especially after I heard this song! So this was a kind of on the spot, random, nonbetaed thing but I hope you like it! Review please! Oh and have a very merry Chirstmas (sorry I'm not one of those "Happy Holidays" saps)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl nor do I own You Would Have Loved This sung by Tarja Turunen!**

You Would Have Loved This

_The winter left her blanket _

_Here this morning _

_A soft and gentle coverlet of white _

_Unfolded in the shadows of the dawn _

_It sparkled in the early morning light _

Snow covered the grounds of the Manor, enveloping it like an angel's wings wrapped silent and unseen around a crying child. It covered anything and everything it could, layering it all in the purest of white imaginable; unblemished, faultless, and sparkling in the setting sun. The snow made the rocky landscape look smooth, calm, and new. It created a picturesque setting for any holiday painting or festive family photo. Picture perfect was given new meaning this night.

But the one residing inside the Manor cared not about this radiant miracle of nature nor anything the average human being associated with it. Artemis Fowl's head was bent, cradling in his hands so that he could not see it. He didn't want to see the swirling masses of white outside. He didn't want to see the Christmas lights that were halfheartedly put up on the front gate; he did not want to see all the evidence that pointed out the fact that today was Christmas Eve.

_Snow. _Each individual snowflake was a perfectly symmetric, a six sided wonder of both nature and geometry. But today, Artemis did not appreciate that fact. Every snowflake that fell softly to the ground was a painful reminder of a cruel and wonderful past. Some of his best memories had taken place in the snow; some of the most painful as well. He could still see the miles and miles of snow around him in the arctic, hear the ice breaking as his father fell into frigid water, feel his tears almost freezing on his face as he cried in relief, feel the chill as he fell into a snow bank after being smacked, and then, many years after that, the kiss in this very room while the snow swirled downward outside, the snowball fight outside with her, and finally, losing her retreating back into the white.

_You would have loved this _

_You would have loved this _

_This was your favorite time of day _

It was her favorite weather. Even though it was usual of her race to hate the cold, she just couldn't stay away. Every single time, without fail that it snowed at the Manor, she always had to come up and be a part of it. Artemis had lost count the number of times he had tried to talk her out of spending the afternoon outside in those icy conditions, lost count the number of gloves he had to buy as replacements, lost count of the number of hugs he had given her for warmth. He always chastised her for it afterwards, for getting so cold and wet, but as he looked outside afterwards, and saw the angels and footprints that were the result of her innocent childlike obsession, he always had to smile.

_The greenery is laid across the mantle _

_And ornaments are hanging on the tree _

_Holly. _Holly on the tree, holly on the wreath, holly on the garland; it was everywhere, _she_ was everywhere. He couldn't escape her at this time of year even if he wanted to. Everything about the holiday was tailor-made to appeal to her personality. She loved the decorations, the hustle and bustle, the feeling, she loved it all. She used to beg him to hold her up so that she could put the star on the tree or run to the store to get ingredients for cookies. She had begged him to spend endless hours with her at the mall so she could find the perfect Christmas gift for his mother or else just sit in his lap by the roaring fire taking it all in. He obliged to her every wish, amused at how happy it made her. The house was always more festive when Holly came to visit; more lights, more ornaments, more warmth. Her joyful mood was always infectious and he always found himself enjoying the little tedious tasks such as shopping for and wrapping presents, so long as she was with him.

_And cradled in the windowsill's a candle _

_A beacon in the night_

_To call you back to me _

Presently, Artemis ran his hand over the flame of the candle that was on the window seat he was currently perched on. The flames licked his smooth, manicured hand but he didn't notice the heat or the pain. She had always insisted on lighting it every night when she came over. In case she left and needed to find her way back to the house during a snow storm, she had explained. The candle would always lead her back to him she had said. And if he ever needed it, it would always lead him back to his home; to her. Artemis put it there to humor her, though he knew that if there was a blizzard, she had no hope of seeing one lonely candle through the winter storm. Artemis briefly wondered if he would be able to see this guiding light, now, through _his_ winter storm.

_You would have loved this _

_You always loved this _

_I know you loved this time of year _

In December she came, and in December she left. Technically it was not the first time she had left him on Christmas, but he fought much harder the first time. It wasn't a coincidence, he didn't think. Two happy years with her was already too good, too much to ask for, too long. He didn't deserve her any longer. The third Christmas she spent with him was exactly like the other two to begin with, though with one major difference. The laughter, the warm hugs, and deep kisses were all still present, her Christmas spirit was there as well, but he could tell something was different. It was her eyes; the happiness didn't reach her eyes. Artemis had noticed this but didn't say anything because he knew it was going to be over soon; he had known for a long time. Their fight with society was wearing them both down. They weren't supposed to be together by law, but up until now, they hadn't let it stop them. But to be frank, their weariness was causing them to fight more and more. The feeling of love towards each other was mutual; however this tired, fighting kind of love never wins in the end…not even with them.

Once the presents had been opened, the dinner had been devoured, and they saw themselves in the naked light of their situation, they both knew it was the end. Artemis tried halfheartedly to stop her, begged her to stay, but Holly just shook her head sadly, tears rolling down her eyes. "We can make this work." Artemis had promised her as she put her wings on by the window. "We might be able to, but they never can." Holly had replied simply. They had stood in silence for a moment more, and then Holly had pointed above his head to the white mistletoe that was hanging there; that she had hung there. Artemis had started at it sadly and then swept her up into his arms; he had known then it would be the last time. After one last kiss, one last demonstration of love, this one last act that told both of them exactly how horrific of mistake they were about to make, she left him; disappeared into the swirling snow.

_And though I understand _

_One day again I'll see you _

_I long to touch your hand, _

_Hear your voice, feel you _

Artemis felt no joy, now, during the Christmas season. He did not feel like sharing the happiness of his family as they enjoyed the Christmas Eve dinner tonight, or share the excitement of his brothers as they ran down stars tomorrow to see what Father Christmas had brought them. He would rather sit there and _not_ watch the snow and _not_ remember. Not remember all those memories of old, those days, all those hours in her presence decorating, shopping, or baking with her. He would be happy to forget about her infectious Christmas spirit and the way she made him smile. He would rather not remember those soft caresses, those warn embraces, those loving kisses. Artemis would rather just sit there and watch his flickering candle die, and with it, his only chance of leading her back to him. He would rather just sit there and miss her, thinking about how it would have been different if she were here…thinking about how much she would have loved this.

_You would have loved this _

_You always loved this _

_Oh, how you loved. _


End file.
